Lately, I've been thinking about how rare it is for people to have one house that they do all of their growing up in. Being the oldest my parents bounced around until I was 4, but then they lived in this house until a couple years ago. I love their new home, the freshness of it all, the spacious field for a yard, the breathtaking view, and the memories we are making now.
But it is not the house that I have my secrets tucked away in. It's not on the street where I got my first kiss. It doesn't have the driveway where I learned to ride a bike or shoot a basketball. It doesn't have a grape vine in the backyard that sweetens the air in the fall. And it doesn't have the room(s) where I spent time alone reading, writing in my journal, waiting for Santa or the tooth fairy, crying over lost friends, cooling off after fights with my sister, or quietly talking on the phone late at night.
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(this photo just makes me laugh--we hadn't met chloe or c.j. yet. little did we know what was in store as our family grew:) also-notice the beat LA in the car window. someone must've known I'd marry a Celtics fan )
I've noticed I've replayed this song quite a few times when using my iPod recently. Music is very important in my life and some songs just resonate for different reasons during different stages. I'm sure you can relate. This one's on my "life" playlist for the time being.
The home that built me isn't just the one on North 'E' Street. It's also the ones on Buena Way, Stimel Drive, RiverPark Drive, and "Z" road. More than that it's the people who live or lived in them.
Right now, dealing with the constant anxiety of the unkown, I enjoy closing my eyes and going to a time when I wasn't concerned with what the future held. My only concerns were catching tadpoles in the ditch, sidewalk chalk, grandma's candy cupboard, trampolines, Thursday's volleyball game or Friday's football game, watermelon bursts, cliff jumping, and swimming pools.
It might be outdated and unlikely, but I hope that I have one home that my kids do their growing in. I don't want the newest. nicest, best decorated house on the block. I want a good place for my kids to run wild, make a mess, sing loud, and get into some healthy trouble. I want the constant in their life that they can always feel safe in, and later think fondly of. I know the saying, "Home is where you make it," and I fully believe it. I just want to provide the same magic and curiosity that my parents gave me.
This is quite a post. A little overload, I know, but I like to share a song once in awhile. I feel like everyone can use an opportunity to open their mind and tap into a forgotten experience or feeling.
8 comments:
I can see what you mean. It's hard to realize all the memories you miss until your house is no longer yours. My parents still live in our house, but I can relate with Grandma and Grandpa's house. I would love nothing more than to run into G&G's backyard to pick a pomegranate or a persimmon, assuming the trees are still there. I think of those mornings where you wake up warm only to run into a huge blast of cold air in the kitchen because Grandma has the window open to enjoy the fresh air. I think of the millions of kids that must have had their heads stuck in the rod iron bars of the staircase at one point in time or another. I think of our dads' home movies where we played whatever characters they assigned us, whether we wanted them or not! Ha ha. We should do remakes of those movies now. The infamous playground. The "secret" path it took to get there. Caroling to the neighbors... and surprisingly, not always at Christmastime. I could go on and on...
I am not sure I can post on your blog but will try. Your blog made me cry - I know you loved your home in Toppenish - change is always a hard thing for some people. How is the job hunting going? Love you much
I loved this post and I love the fact that Grandma G posted. I especially liked the part about your kids getting into some 'healthy trouble.' We miss you guys. I hope to see you in September when I visit my parents' in SR.
I really love this post toby. Its funny how a house can make you emotional. Whats even more funny is that picture of us as kids. I laughed out loud because that quick picture depicts who we are even now haha. Let me explain, Toni: protective yet amused older sister. Stacie: focused yet kind of always in her own world. Me: confused, crazed and apparently pretty hungry hahaha. We're so cool.
I love the thoughts and feeling you just shared Toni. The house that built me was a little red brick home in Arlington, VA and I remember details about the house, the four seasons, my mom's flower gardens, the goldfish buried by the garage, our beautiful dogwood tree, our pets, the kitchen where my mom made delicious food, the fireplace in the livingroom,......It was a warm, happy home and I dearly cherish my memories. Thank you for prompting that beautiful trip down memory lane.
Thanks for sharing that song and your feelings. The house that built me was a little red brick home in Arlington, VA. I can remember every detail, like our beautiful dogwood tree, my mother's flower gardens, the goldfish buried by the garage, the fireplace, my bedroom I shared with my sister, the kitchen where mom cooked really good food.....thanks for inspiring my little trip down memory lane. It felt really good. Love you!
The house that built me was a red brick home in Arlington, VA. I vidly remember everything!.....the four seasons with the fall leaves and winter snow, my mother's flower garden, the beautiful dogwood tree in our front yard, the fireplace, kitchen, my bedroom that I shared with my sister....everyting! My favorite memories are the FEELINGS I get when I think back on my wonderful childhood and everything I saw and did. I love you Toni! We're family you know!
Sweetness Toni, I don't know why it's so hard to comment on your blog. I did it three times because it wouldn't 'take' my comment each time, then it published all three, which is a little bit embarrassing :)
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